My World 2.0

There have been reported outbreaks all over the country inducing mass hysteria in malls and outside of television studios. The disease can be transmitted by MTV or Radio Disney, but is most frequently contracted by usage of the website Youtube.com, where over one-hundred-fifty million have been infected. Most susceptible to the disease are young females ages nine to sixteen. The medical name for the disease is Liefgarretitus, however it is commonly referred to as "Bieber Fever"

Though not an actual physical disease, Bieber Fever is quite the cultural phenomenon. Justin Bieber grew up lower-middle class in Stratford Canada. He was raised by his mother whose own ambitions of stardom were crushed when she became pregnant at eighteen. He began posting Youtube videos online when he was twelve and was serendipitously discovered by Scooter Braun. At age thirteen Justin Timberlake and Usher were fighting to sign him- Usher eventually triumphed. At fifteen he had his first platinum song, booked Madison Square Garden and played for President and Mrs. Obama at the Whitehouse.

Now sixteen years old, Bieber is well on his way to becoming a real pop icon. His sophomore album (though it's really more like a second-semester-freshman-year album) My World 2.0 has already surpassed the success of his debut My World. The new album is a sort of compilation of the best of Bieber's pop heartthrob predecessors. The first single off the album, “Baby”, is like a golden oldie that has been processed and digitized and features a charming rap by Ludacris who is an odd yet fitting collaboration for Bieber. “Runaway Love” pairs Justin’s prepubescent vocals with a mature synth-pop composition that is very reminiscent of an Off The Wall era Michael Jackson tune. “Overboard” is a high pitched version of Chris Brown and Jordin Spark’s recent chart topping duet “No Air” but without the taint of domestic abuse charges. He is mid-nineties R&B Usher on “Up” and FutureSexLoveSounds Justin Timberlake Jr. on “That Should be Me”. All of these songs have been done before and that is the point. You’re supposed to draw those comparisons; it is all part of a masterfully crafted equation.

It takes a village to raise a pop star and Justin Bieber is no different. He is constantly surrounded by adults whose primary job is to cultivate him into a specific and calculated image. He even has a “Swagger Coach”, Ryan Good, who taught him how to dress like P Diddy and tactfully flirt with Barbra Walters and other woman more then half his age. Bieber’s mentor Usher told the New York Times, “Scooter, Ryan and myself tag team him”- a statement made in reference to a sixteen year old boy that would usually require police investigation.

More interesting are the ways Bieber’s team has utilized and manipulated technology to such fantastic results. Justin made headlines for unruly fan behavior before his first album was even released thanks to a genius Youtube campaign. On the topic Braun revealed to the New York Times, “I said: Justin, sing like there’s no one in the room. But let’s not use expensive cameras. We’ll give it to the kids; let them do the work, so they feel like it’s theirs.” By marketing Bieber as a homemade talent, his main demographic of little girls feel they can know and be known by their idol.

Unfortunately it doesn’t matter whether or not you like Justin Bieber now, you eventually will. He is going to work with the best producers and musicians in the business making songs with annoyingly catchy beats and excellent hooks you wish wouldn’t get stuck in your head. Such is the nature of a carefully crafted pop star. As of now anyway, there is no known cure for Bieber Fever.

Guys and Dolls

By all means 1955's Guys and Dolls is not a critically acclaimed masterpiece.  But it is colorful, it is fun and Marlon Brando is young and beautiful in technicolor.  The cast is really something too; Viviane Blaine, Frank Sinatra, Jean Simmons and of corse the aforementioned Brando.  Guys and Dolls is a rare example of Brando in a musical- interesting for any fan of film to experience.  The movie is not mind blowing, but it is pleasant to watch.  It is a film that one cannot watch too many times, it is always simply enjoyable- which is sometimes all a movie has to be. 

Edie: American Girl

Reading Edie: American Girl is something like eaves dropping on the muffled conversation about the good old days your parent's friends have at three in the morning after a dinner party has dispersed.  Except your parent's friends are Truman Capote, Gerard Malanga and Richie Berlin and the good old days are the Warhol 60s and they all have these stories about this beautiful twisted chick, Edie.  An essential read for any fan of Pop Art,  American Girl is an authentic portrayal of the New York scene of the time as told by the people who created it.  

Britney

Carole King is always there for me when my heart is breaking.  When I'm having trouble relating I turn to Lou Reed.  I listen to Joni Mitchell when the world is feeling heavy (man).  Certain albums transcend the boundaries of certain moods, Britney Spears' self titled 2001 release is one of these emotional catchalls.   There is female empowerment in the tracks "Cinderella" and "Stronger".  "Overprotected" and "Not a Girl Not Yet a Woman" are coming of age anthems.  And the ultimate Spearstastic experience that is "I'm a Slave 4 U."  Nine years after it's release the album has somehow maintained it's pop-ripeness.  Still able to get me through the heartbreak, dissociation and weight of the world.  

nymag.com/fashion

The internet is home to a plethora of different fashion blogs and bloggers who have unbridled opinions and ideas on current trends and styles. The range of different tastes and styles is vast with blogger’s own personal preferences being the most prevalent content. Where does one turn for an unbiased view?

New York Magazine’s online fashion site is the answer. The site has already won the American Society of Magazine Editors 2010 Digital “Ellie” Award for Multimedia Feature or Package, which according to ASME, “recognizes the imaginative use of interactivity and multimedia in the presentation of a single story or editorial package.” www.nymag.com/fashion is the ultimate online fashion content filter, providing reliable fashion news daily.

There are many different facets of the site. There is the popular “Daily Cut” which posts interesting and relevant news stories from the world of fashion. The “Look Finder” is a comprehensive feature from which you can browse for outfit ideas based on designer, model, styles and trends (Are you going for equestrian or more of a nautical look today?), color, season and material. The website has the most extensive and well organized collection of photos and videos from every society party and runway show you were not invited to. If you’re a New Yorker you can use the fashion calendar to check out different events and sales in the area. The best part about all of the above content is that it is easy to use and well organized- something many independent fashion blogs lack.

The fashion blogging revolution is fabulous and I highly recommend spending some time checking out all of the different Tavi’s and Bryanboy’s on the interweb today. It is spectacular that so many different perspectives are available with the click of a button. To be a fashion snob used to require subscription to Vogue. In the digital age all you need is Google, and thank god because who wants to have to rely on Anna Wintour and that steel helmet of hair for fashion advice anyway?

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

Many people will tell you Jimmy Fallon was the bane of Saturday Night Live in the 2000s. He laughed during sketches and seemed to just be there for his “boyish charm” and sex appeal instead of any real comedic talent. He sucked in movies too. Why should you watch Late Night with Jimmy Fallon?

Getting hired as a late night network talk show host is like getting tenure at an Ivy League institute. And as is such with tenured professors, being fired from Princeton doesn't mean you couldn't get a good gig going at Cornell, or at least NYU. The dust has settled with Jay Leno back at The Tonight Show, Conan on basic cable and Carson Daily still on Mars. Late Night with Jimmy Fallon managed to get through its first year on air, surviving Chevy Chase syndrome. Jimmy Fallon is not Craig Ferguson or Chevy Chase or Conan O’Brian or Jay Leno or Letterman and that is why Late Night is a success.

Unlike other the other late night hosts, Jimmy Fallon’s strength is not primarily his persona, but instead the production surrounding it. Fallon is the opposite of what a late night host should be according to the standardly followed Johnny Carson precedent. His monologue is usually weak (and smartly kept short) and he is usually too star-struck by his guests to ask any seriously investigatory questions. Though the interviews and monologues have both improved over the past year, the highlights of Late Night are the fantastically absurd comedy creations by Fallon’s writers and producers.

The Fallon writing staff includes A.D. Miles of Wet Hot American Summer and Tim and Eric Show fame; fellow Wet Hot writer with credits including Strangers with Candy and the gone to soon Stella, David Wain; Morgan Murphy, who recently won the ECNY award (the New York City comedian’s Oscar) for best female standup; and Jon Friedman, creator of the cult hit Upright Citizen’s Brigade Theatre Rejection Show, who may or may not be responsible for Late Night’s distinct New-York-underground-comedy-scene feel. Put all these writers in a room and you have material not even Jimmy Fallon could screw up.

One consistently risible segment of the show that is a prime example of the Late Night writer’s skills is “Thank You Notes.” Root’s pianist Jamal plays a melodramatic lifetime movie esque tune while Jimmy reads aloud in as sincere a tone as he can manage his weekly thank you notes. For example, “Thank you crutches, for letting me know how people would walk if our legs came out of our armpits.” or “Thank you ponytails, for making the backs of girls heads look like horse butts.”

The production quality of Jimmy Fallon has to be the most creative if not best in late night. The visuals are practically as aesthetically intriguing as they are funny. “Ultimate Moustache Fighter” involves two giant sized famous moustaches (the most recent match up: Santana vs. 80’s John Oates) fighting in a UFC style octagon competition enclosure complete with authentically ridiculous commentary by Jimmy and sidekick/announcer Steve Higgins.

Consistent with its hip humor is Late Night’s outstanding online content which is the key to retaining a television audience in this day and age of YouTube and DVR. Late night talk shows traditionally have to compete with sleep- Jimmy Fallon does not.

If you’re still not convinced, did I mention The Roots are the house band?

Aqua

Taking a walk through the city on a sunny day, one may find there are as many masterpieces in the infrastructure surrounding the Chicago Art Institute as there are housed inside. Inside the Institute hangs Georges-Pierre Seurat’s impressively meticulous painting “Sunday Afternoon on the Island of LaGrande Jatte”. Outside, on the corner of State St. and Madison stands Louis Sullivan’s “Carson, Pirie, Scott and Company Building” romantically dripping cast iron. Inside, Edward Hopper’s cool and iconic “Nighthawks”. Outside, Miles van der Rohe’s tall, dark and handsome “IBM Building”. And then, as pure and ethereal as Georgia O’Keeffe’s “Sky Above Clouds IV”, there is Jeanne Gang’s “Aqua”.

Completed in 2010, the award winning skyscraper stands 82 storey’s tall and houses retail and office space as well as 18 floors of hotel rooms, 476 rental units and 263 condominiums. “Aqua” echoes the breezy waves of nearby Lake Michigan with curved concrete balconies that wrap around the structure creating a soft sculptural facade. The structure is a visual relief in (as described on Studio Gang’s website) “an increasingly dense city like Chicago.” The building somehow captures innocence and purity, a rare feat for a mass of concrete and steal.

As impressive as its aesthetics is the building’s simplicity, efficiency and use of green technology. The wavy face of “Aqua” is not only beautiful, but actually disperses high winds allowing for balconies on even the top floors of the building with minimal enclosure. The architecture is technologically advanced without the convoluted mess of materials that exemplifies some contemporary skyscrapers. It seamlessly integrates into its environment, coexisting instead of imposing.

Perhaps “Aqua” is so invigorating because Jeanne Gang’s studio doesn’t primarily build skyscrapers. Studio Gang’s structures come from a fresh perspective with strong principals of both sustainability and creativity. “The Feeder” is a proposal to build suspended hothouses above the Ohio Feeder ramp on I-90. These hothouses would act as an urban farm, producing fresh and local food for downtown Chicago. Locally grown produce in the middle of a city? Brilliant! Then there is “Eco Casino” where gamblers would be entertained and educated with environmentally themed games such as betting on the weather. All profits would go directly to the State’s green initiative. The City Chicago is lucky to have a daughter as talented as Gang and her team of innovators.

Urban architecture such as “Aqua” in its practicality and inspiration is art for the common man. Gang’s work is an invaluable addition to Chicago’s collection that will forever be enjoyed by its passerby’s.

Leonardo Da Vinci's "Mona Lisa"

There’s something about her smile. The way the lips curl on the most famous femme fatale of all time is mysterious as it is eternally sexy. There is no fuller more vivid career in the history of art then Mona Lisa’s. She got her start with genius Leonardo Da Vinci in 1503, yet it is her long journey following her inception that made her the superstar we know and love today. She was exclusive with some of the most powerful men in history including Louis XIV and Napoleon, and played muse to Salvador Dali, Marcel Duchamp and Andy Warhol among numerous others. She has had her fair share of scandal; one notorious example being her two year tryst in Italy with art thief Vincenzo Peruggia during which she stayed completely out of the public eye. Following her absence, Mona made a triumphant return to the spotlight in a successful world tour before returning to her current residence, The Louvre. There has been controversy with the work the aging diva has had done including several facelifts. Nevertheless, her striking depth of beauty at 500 years old ascends any dissatisfaction one may have about the state of her aesthetic purity. Lisa is a survivor and has endured as an important and interminable icon whose haunting smirk is forever in our subconscious, a rare and commendable feat. Today Mona Lisa lives and works in Paris and is focused primarily on her career and fans, still smiling after all this time.

Gustav Klimt's "The Kiss"

On a florid knoll in a golden abyss, two lovers pose intertwined in each other and exotic vines. Such is the scene of Gustav Klimt’s most recognizable work, “The Kiss”. A prime example of work from Klimt’s gold period, the painting is several different depths of metallic and paints a picture of a decadent and sensual embrace between a beautiful woman and a dashing stud with flowers in his hair. Flowers seem to overwhelm the piece, covering the pair’s garments and the foreground. Looking at the painting from a 21^st Century perspective, it is easy to see the transition from an Art Nouveau piece such as “The Kiss” to the psychedelic art and ephemera of the 1960’s and 1970’s. Perhaps that is what make’s the work seem so overindulgent and irrelevant today. Perhaps it is overexposure to Hallmark Valentines and the Midwestern, suburban interior decorators of our time that render “The Kiss” cliché. Gustav Klimt’s attention to detail and meticulous craftsmanship are impressive to this day, but studying the “The Kiss”, one may be troubled to find anything commendable past the aesthetic plastic of the painting. It’s nice to look at. That seems to be about it. There is a reason “The Kiss” seems right at home above granite counter tops, next to stainless steal appliances, over “Truly Taupe” painted walls- because it is.

Black Dogs

Inked editor Jason Buhrmester’s debut novel Black Dogs is a comical rock and roll crime novel based very loosely on the 1973 incident when Led Zeppelin was robbed of $203,000 cash while on tour in New York City . The novel’s setting, dialogue and cast of dirty, grimy young criminals will keep you reading even if the predictable plot does not.    The story center's around Patrick, a nineteen year old criminal from the bleak streets of 1970's Baltimore who has just returned home after a year working and mingling with the biggest bands of the decade through a catering gig in New York City.  Upon returning home, Patrick attempts to rally together his own band of thieves to convince them to embark on the greatest heist of their careers: robbing Led Zeppelin.  The gang is comprised of Frenchy; a bit of a guitar prodigy among his friends, Alex;fresh out of Jail for robbery, and Keith; essentially a dumbass.  What starts as simply robbing Led Zeppelin (As simply as robbing Led Zeppelin can be) quickly becomes a vortex of disarray amid Christian bike gangs, garage funk bands and the Maryland chapter of the Misty Mountain Hoppers (aka stoned stupid Zeppelin fans).  The gang eventually ends up in New York City at the Drake Hotel where the band is staying.  They then proceed to commit possibly the greatest robbery in classic rock, or so the title says. 

           

The plot of Black Dogs is Elmore-Leonard-light, but still incredibly pleasurable.  The characters and references are practically as good as Leonard’s, and with a palpable rock and roll flavor.  The allusions to classic rock and 1970’s America are implemented flawlessly.  Especially the fabulously weird references to the now defunct television program Hawaii 5-0, somehow the favorite television show of this group of gritty delinquents, which will make you laugh out loud.  The book also accounts for all of the musicians Led Zeppelin stole from (sweet retribution for anyone who’s ever had to put up with real Misty Mountain Hopper’s) but smartly follows with the reflection vocalized by Keith, “If I put peanut butter and jelly on bread its not the most original sandwich in the world, but you’d still eat it.”  Ah, so true Keith, so true.

 

The novel has its flaws, but the fast pace and ruthless dialogue will make you tear through it’s pages.  The female character’s are definitely lacking, but then again all the characters in this book are morons who would risk jail and death to commit crime and thievery rather then using any of their vast number of skills to make an honest living.  At the heart of their irrational risk is the spirit of Rock and Roll.  And in Rock and Roll the risk is the payoff.

 

 

Cop Out

Balls, poop, shit, fuck… yup, this is a Kevin Smith movie! Just not one with any humor. Cop Out is Smith’s first time directing a film he didn’t write, although it’s questionable if anyone was actually directing this movie. The film opens with promise as Tracy Morgan does his impersonations of lines from famous cop movies, but is immediately brought down by Bruce Willis’s obviously acted performance. Willis plays Jimmy the older and wiser cop of the pair, while Morgan plays the goofy partner in crime (or should I saw law) Paul. Cop Out centers around these two characters and plays like a stale 1980’s buddy cop film instead of satirizing one.

After unprofessional behavior on the job leads to the getaway of a suspect in a Latin drug gang, NYPD cops Jimmy and Paul have their badges taken away and must endure a month long suspension. Jimmy must then find a new source of income to pay for his beloved daughter Ava’s wedding or else her step father will and Jimmy would face the ultimate emasculation. In the process of selling his valuable baseball card, the memorabilia shop is held up at gun point and Jimmy’s card is stolen. It just so happens the number one Latin drug lord is a huge baseball memorabilia collector and Jimmy and Paul end up getting involved in the very case they were banned from. Hilarity and mishaps ensue, but Jimmy and Paul come out on top, taking down the mean Mexican drug dealers and saving the prostitute with a heart of gold that they found in the trunk of the gang leader’s Mercedes! And it ends with a white wedding!

Willis, who is totally capable of comedy as evident by his role in the television series Moonlighting, came off obnoxious. Tracy Morgan played Tracy Morgan, which in light of the rest of the movie was rather enjoyable. Rashida Jones and Michelle Trachtenberg who are both well endowed comically (Jone’s in “I Love You Man” and Trachtenberg’s role as a queen bitch on “Gossip Girl”) are way underused and play typical female roles. It’s not the casting that’s off as much as the delivery. The film is not smart enough or dumb enough to be funny. It has off-putting graphic violence that is confusingly followed directly by toilet jokes. All the characters are heavily stereotyped and in the case of the Latino gangsters it almost feels a little racist. The jokes aren’t intended to be about how silly stereotypes are, but about Mexican’s talk funny. It didn’t come across as a satire of other buddy cop movies as much as it was just another buddy cop movie.

If you must see this film the awesome 80’s hip hop and synth soundtrack will get you through the 107 minutes that is Cop Out. You’d be better off seeing Avatar again.

The Fame Monster

There were two blondes who were prevalent in pop culture in 2009.  One wears prom dresses and sparkly guitars around her tiny frame while the other prefers to let her fantastic pale bottom hang out of latex leotards and yields a glow in the dark “disco stick”.  One sings of unrequited love and growing pains, the other of a sick obsession with fame, fortune and fashion.  Taylor Swift and Lady Gaga share few things in common, their rise to fame in the past year is one of those things.  It’s easy to see why Lady Gaga blew up; she’s loud, she’s flashy and she has pop anthems with hooks Beyonce would kill for.  Taylor Swift is a more pleasant surprise; her voice is not incredible but what she sings about is. 

 

Having said that, Lady Gaga’s latest release The Fame Monster is a monster.  The charm of her first album The Fame has been swallowed by the monster and all that is left is synthetic white noise.  It serves its purpose as a solidly produced pop album, but it disappoints on being truly great because it has no sense of humor which all great pop music should have.  The Fame Monster’s lyrics just don’t resonate the way The Fame’s tale of a struggling Lower East Side Pop artist did.  Fantasizing about fame and touting about it are two different things and an America in recession can tell the difference. 

 

After all Lady Gaga is actually a brunette, Taylor Swift is a natural blonde. 

 

 

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The Fame

Stefani Germanotta is a good Italian girl who learned classical piano because her mother forced her to sit at a piano bench for an hour every day. She is also a New Yorker, a college dropout and an unnatural peroxide bleach blonde with a penchant for wigs. Stefani Germanotta is a lot of things because Stefani Germanotta is Lady Gaga. And Lady Gaga is the Elton John/David Bowie/Madonna/Alice Cooper of the second decade of the new millennium.

Lady Gaga’s debut album The Fame is a narrative of the desperate and ugly climb to fame and fortune wrapped up in delicious pop music. It has boisterous beats and clever lyrics woven elegantly throughout. Lady Gaga somehow has the ability to sing the line “Let’s have some fun this beat is sick, I wanna take a ride on your disco stick” without sounding lewd or unintelligent. She lets us know it’s a joke and allows us take her lightly. It’s everything enjoyable about pop and hiphop in the last twenty years in leather and a hair bow.

If you hate her music, you should at least acknowledge the woman’s capatalistic genius. In a world where reality shows and youtube have brought real meaning to Andy Warhol’s fifteen minutes of fame theory, Lady Gaga produced an album about creating one’s own fame. More and more it seems when a child is asked what they want to be when they grow up the answer is movie star or rock star. Firefighters and doctors seem kind of dull when you can be on the cover of magazines every week and have your own fragrance. The Fame is a soundtrack for the millions of American youth who long to be harassed by paparazzi and have their lives chronicled by Star Magazine. And for everyone else, the firefighters and doctors included, the album is great pop escapism for those long drives to work.